February 17, 2009
Retreat - Listening To My Body's Wisdom
Retreat.
My body, spirit and intuition are telling me it is long past time for one. And the playful part of me jumped on the thought as soon as I had it and blurted out, "It even has the word TREAT in it!!"
I am a naturally very introverted person and often get drained, overwhelmed or overstimulated by interaction with other people - even when it's positive! I also get exhausted just being in a place where other people are talking, bustling, being etc.
My life may look like a retreat already but it doesn't feel that way. Even emails feel draining and overwhelming. Phone calls or in person visits are much worse.
I've felt many times that getting MCS was my body's wise way of getting me to retreat from a world that was simply unhealthy for me. Not in the sense of toxins but in the sense of draining or overwhelming me energetically.
I've been so focused on the ways in which I am isolated due to MCS that I haven't taken note of the ways in which I'm not isolated such as emails, support groups, reading blogs, phone calls etc.
Aside from when I get migraines and the few camping trips I've been on, I've never take a break from the computer for more than a day in years!
Furthermore, I've been fighting against my own inner wisdom each time I focus on the goal of 'healing' as defined by 'being able to be out in the human world again'!
My body doesn't want to be 'out in the world' again!!!
It's worked very hard to get me to retreat, take a break, honour my introvertedness!
I trust that there is some wisdom in this. Some positive reason.
So I've decided to honour my body's wisdom by trying a real retreat for a week. I'm not going to answer the phone, read or write emails, blog entries or comments(or possibly even go on the computer at all).
I'm going to do some EFT around guilt about this. Our society seems to view introversion as a defect - the very word 'antisocial' has a negative connotation. I've internalised those negative judgements in some ways and want to clear them!
I'm going to stop fighting my isolation for a week and see it as a gift - something to enjoy. (some people pay big bucks to go on retreats!) I'm going to relish it and spend the time doing whatever the heck I want.
Who knows what sort of healing my body will do if I give it the retreat it's been trying to get ever since MCS began all those years ago!
I won't be replying to emails or comments, but please know I'm fine - just on a retreat :-)
I am reminded of the dreams of turtles I had on a few different nights a couple of weeks ago. They felt powerful and important but I didn't know what the message was.
Now I think of turtle wisdom, for me, as including being at peace with where I am, not feeling the need to rush away from it, being comfortable with the pace at which I am moving and, of course, having the option of retreating within when it feels right.
My body, spirit and intuition are telling me it is long past time for one. And the playful part of me jumped on the thought as soon as I had it and blurted out, "It even has the word TREAT in it!!"
I am a naturally very introverted person and often get drained, overwhelmed or overstimulated by interaction with other people - even when it's positive! I also get exhausted just being in a place where other people are talking, bustling, being etc.
My life may look like a retreat already but it doesn't feel that way. Even emails feel draining and overwhelming. Phone calls or in person visits are much worse.
I've felt many times that getting MCS was my body's wise way of getting me to retreat from a world that was simply unhealthy for me. Not in the sense of toxins but in the sense of draining or overwhelming me energetically.
I've been so focused on the ways in which I am isolated due to MCS that I haven't taken note of the ways in which I'm not isolated such as emails, support groups, reading blogs, phone calls etc.
Aside from when I get migraines and the few camping trips I've been on, I've never take a break from the computer for more than a day in years!
Furthermore, I've been fighting against my own inner wisdom each time I focus on the goal of 'healing' as defined by 'being able to be out in the human world again'!
My body doesn't want to be 'out in the world' again!!!
It's worked very hard to get me to retreat, take a break, honour my introvertedness!
I trust that there is some wisdom in this. Some positive reason.
So I've decided to honour my body's wisdom by trying a real retreat for a week. I'm not going to answer the phone, read or write emails, blog entries or comments(or possibly even go on the computer at all).
I'm going to do some EFT around guilt about this. Our society seems to view introversion as a defect - the very word 'antisocial' has a negative connotation. I've internalised those negative judgements in some ways and want to clear them!
I'm going to stop fighting my isolation for a week and see it as a gift - something to enjoy. (some people pay big bucks to go on retreats!) I'm going to relish it and spend the time doing whatever the heck I want.
Who knows what sort of healing my body will do if I give it the retreat it's been trying to get ever since MCS began all those years ago!
I won't be replying to emails or comments, but please know I'm fine - just on a retreat :-)
I am reminded of the dreams of turtles I had on a few different nights a couple of weeks ago. They felt powerful and important but I didn't know what the message was.
Now I think of turtle wisdom, for me, as including being at peace with where I am, not feeling the need to rush away from it, being comfortable with the pace at which I am moving and, of course, having the option of retreating within when it feels right.
Labels:
energy,
healing,
inner wisdom,
learning,
listening,
MCS,
moving forward,
respect,
retreat
9 comments:
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Wonderful! I know of other turtle women who live the wisdom. Enjoy yourself and be in good company.
ReplyDeleteMokihana
Liberty,
ReplyDeleteGOOD FOR YOU FOR TAKING A RETREAT!!!!!
Please take your time, rest, relax, & heal!!!
Your blog will be here when you get back!
You praised me for taking time away from my blog recently. It was hard to stay away from it BUT it was necessary.
Self-care is so important!! Use your favorite coping techniques (you know... the ones we've discussed at length) to feel better! :)
Good for you to retreat when your body says so!
Sending positive thoughts and energy your way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jeanne
Thank you both!
ReplyDeleteIt felt very positive.
It was a peaceful and liberating week and I'm considering doing more of it! I noticed that I had a bit more energy away from the computer.
Liberty,
ReplyDeleteI hope that you are enjoying your retreat. I just wanted to stop by and say hello. (If I were smart, I'd take a retreat myself about now but Endometriosis Awareness Month starts in 2 days so that's a tall order). :)
Jeanne
Yay about your retreat.
ReplyDeleteYay about your improvments.
Super-yay about the BEEAOOTIFUL mandalas. Did you colour the ones that are shown? Thx for including the link.
:-)) Katie
hi Jeanne,
ReplyDeleteI hope you find ways to include mini-retreats in this busy month.
The world won't fall apart if we take a break. Activism is important but NOT at the expense of your health!!! If we take the time and space to heal then we will have more energy to activate (LOL) and be able to do it more coherently and effectively.
healing, peaceful thoughts coming your way
Hi Katie,
ReplyDeleteI did colour the mandalas with markers. The website of the person who draws them has great galleries that have much more diverse colours. I was using colour themes (all reds, all yellows) just because I want to have seven that represent the chakras. I'm working on others where I can have more fun with different colours.
Glad you liked them!
I'll post photos of more soon
What a great post, Liberty. This really resonates. Turtle power! ;)
ReplyDeleteTurtle Power! I love it Shayla! I forgot all about TMNT :-)
ReplyDelete